Holiday Mindset

Happy 4^th of July, Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Remember saying those short holiday greetings. Well, it's time to pull those pleasant greetings from the back of our minds and start using them again. This year probably more than any other year and this time of year, more so than any other.

This time of year we are bombarded with happy images of families around the big dining room table at Thanksgiving, gifts on Christmas morning with jubilant kids or loving couples; each of very happy times. Time for giving thanks, celebrating Christmas with gift-giving and of course the exuberance of celebrating the end of another year and welcoming the New Year.

Nothing has changed in terms of the holiday celebrations, but this year has not been like any other thus this holiday season will be like no other.

The year 2020 has brought us protests and violence in our streets as well a virus that has killed over 220,000 humans. People lost their jobs, and many have fallen below the poverty level. All of which might mean possibly chicken instead of turkey or ham, less or no gifts on Christmas morning and staying at home to ring in 2021. With restrictions on flying people will decide not to visit families in other states which for some is a yearly tradition. Cost of gasoline will keep many home as well as social distancing.

My comments above can pertain to everyone; Rich, poor, single, families, close to home or halfway across the country, soldiers deployed away from their loved ones and first responders on duty.

And then there is the group who will find it even more difficult at this time of year. Those of us who suffer with depression and mental illness. I have dealt with depression myself for many years and have found that holidays in general are hard because of very positive lifelong memories and not being able to visit with those family members. As the season arrives this year there will be more and more people finding it more and more difficult to make the hard choices of how to fill the void. One thing I do to keep myself grounded and not go into a deep dark place is remembering what the holidays are meant for. A change in my mindset of sorts. I reverse my thinking and find ways to make the times I might dread ones that I will remember and cherish in years to come.

Thanksgiving is the time to give thanks for what I HAVE and I need to do just that. So, do you. We all have one thing we can be thankful for and is that not what Thanksgiving is about. And there is much we can do to fill our table or give thanks - build a family of friends, neighbors and co-workers who are experiencing the same feelings. Give to others by serving at a soup kitchen or shelter, sharing a meal with others or buy one for someone hungry. These little efforts can change our frame of mind and lift our spirits, so what do we have to lose by trying them except our depression.

All though Christmas is the time to give gifts in remembrance of the three wisemen traveling to visit the baby Jesus and present gifts, it is also the holiday to give thanks for the arrival of the Messiah who was sent to us by GOD to save us. All the images of money spent on material things are the masterminds of marketing/advertising gurus! But it is the sadness of times gone by and current situations that affect those of us who suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness. But we can combat that, again by changing the way we think of the holidays and how we fill our time with positive direction of our time. Remembering the REAL meaning of the season and enjoying the true gifts of the season.  

Which brings me to New Year’s. A holiday to welcome in the new year and all the promises it brings with it. At this time of 2020, I would think there are a lot of people gladly wishing 2020 a very final goodbye. I know that traditionally New Year's is a party night and many use it as an excuse to drink extensively, but for those who do not know, alcoholic beverages can make depression even worse. So, in preparation maybe plan an alternative. And there are lots of options available in non-alcoholic drinks that are still festive, or maybe you become the designated driver or even find a calmer way to ring in 2021.

One thing I do to get through a down time is go outside and enjoy nature. I try and connect with local friends as well.  If you are looking to do something to make you feel good during this time of year try to volunteer at a food bank or serve meals to the less fortunate. If you can, don’t stay isolated in your home. Get out and do something you enjoy doing. Just be around other people, go and people watch – it can make you smile or laugh! And that feels good and is a mindset shift!

As a person who suffers with mental illness all year long, I know I need to take closer inventory of myself to make sure I am not going into that dark black hole during this time of year. Acknowledge your feelings, reach out to family and friends and most of all be realistic about the holidays, do what you can and do not pressure yourself to do too much because you don’t need the extra stress.

Remember this is the most wonderful time of the year so plan according so you can truly enjoy it. Plan to the best of your ability to give yourself, your family and friends, even those less fortunate the best holiday season you can. It will get you through and you will feel good for it!

Two thoughts I want to leave you with: First, suicide is a PERMANENT SOLUTION to a temporary problem and second, at this time of year especially remember, “that you might be one person in the world but, you might be the world to that one person you meet.”